69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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