her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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