I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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