I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
