I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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