You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
