Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
