SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
