some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You dont lie about slip and slides
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize