officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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