i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
