so that wasnt chicken after all
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All the doctor said was why
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize