So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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