Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
