hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
