Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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