my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize