There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
