Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize