A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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