This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
