He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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