just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
