Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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