Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
