DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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