i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
