9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
