Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize