that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
