Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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