i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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