I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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