Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My dick has a subreddit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
