no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
