Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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