So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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