I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
