if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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