you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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