that's an acceptable place to lick
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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