What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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