My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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