he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
