I wanna bring you to show and tell
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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