I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize