How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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