That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
