No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pants are for mortals
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
