can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize