I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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