I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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