There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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