this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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