haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
