Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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