Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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