is your mom at the bar?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize