I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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