i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
