Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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