This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize