For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
