you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
