I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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