you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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