I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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