I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
