people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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