marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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