why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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