you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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