i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
