ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
