just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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