My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
