it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
