your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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